Sunday, July 31, 2011

Random 2

My brother and I came home late from a movie to find a pair of dirty rubber boots randomly laying in our shared driveway. My friends and I came up with a few theories on where the boots came from:

Alien Abduction (when all else fails, blame the Aliens)
Boot Throwing Contest
Spontaneous Combustion
Cootie Booty Call


One night while at the movies with some friends, as the previews were playing, we heard a scream from the entrance. Everyone in the theater looked towards the entrance but could not see anything.

Next thing we know, I'm hit by a 1/2 bag of popcorn from the entrance. I made the room laugh when I offered up the popcorn. We had to laugh about it for the rest of the night because it was so random.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Pink Sisters

The day I made the Pink Theory my sister decided we should go see "Friends with Benefits". We called out other sister to come with us, however my brother misunderstood who was attending and said he would tag along. He was trying to give support to my Brother in Law who he thought was going as well. I'd have preferred Captain America, but the two sisters out voted me.

We came home before the movie as it was a few hours to kill, and he realized it was just going to be the sisters, so he backed out as he didn't care to see a chick flick.

My sisters called an hour before we were supposed to leave and asked if I wanted to go shopping prior to the movie. I reluctantly agreed. As I left my brother yelled up the stairs, "Have fun shopping with the Pink Sisters!!"- I had shared my theory earlier with him.

I groaned inwardly as I discovered they were taking me Shoe shopping. However my brother laughed a lot when he got my text message about where we were. Having nothing else to do, I looked for a pair of sandals to try on, found a pair that were really comfortable and showed my sisters. I was then informed I was not allowed to buy said sandals because they made my ankles look fat.

You know I heard jokes about girls staying stuff like that on like tv shows, movies, etc, didn't think we actually said it though. After one sister found a pair of sandals she could live with, we then had to stare at earrings, accessories and sunglasses. Surprisingly they ignored the purses. However each of them carry a massive bright coloured purse already (one bright pink (ironic) and one bright green), so maybe there was less urgency.

We finally went to go to the movie and my brother was still laughing about the Pink Sisters. However he expressed his happiness about missing out on the evening accidentally to my sister, she received the following text "I'm so f-ing glad I didn't come tonight!!" Well this caused a twitter between the two sisters, puzzled over why he was so excited that he did not come.

Meanwhile I'm texting him in the background asking if he sent the text to the wrong person. He laughed even harder when he noticed the mistake, said it was too bad it wasn't funny enough for

After the movie I had to hear about my sisters gushing over Timberlake, how good he looked, how they would sleep with him in a second. Meanwhile I was thinking I wish I had seen Captain America. 

Thursday, July 28, 2011


After lunch, I was walking with the Pink girls in the parkade, and while in the stairwell, one of the girls, hit her purse on the railing. 

She then grabbed her purse, clutched to her chest, while the other one yelled "OMG is it hurt?? Did you hurt it??" I think she might have responded, "I don't know!!" But the frequency of their screeching was high pitched that I had no idea what they were saying anymore.

The rushed down the remaining flights of stairs screeching the whole time in a panic, clutching the purse. I'm meanwhile following, somewhat baffled at this display. It's a purse. Seriously.

Once we got out side, she examined it all over, and thankfully "it's ok, didn't get hurt." Meanwhile another friend had been walking outside the parkade and came over, telling us she could hear them in the stairs, they were that loud.

But it's ok, because the purse survived it's brush with the railing, so the world will continue on another day.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

And one relates to the other how?

I'm not sure how people nail the timing just right. But I had gotten home from the gym 2 minutes prior and had just taken off my shirt for a shower. And the doorbell rings.

Of course my brother isn't going to answer, he never does, however he does meander up after the door is closed normally to see who it was. Annoying habit because if he was really concerned he should answer the door in the first place.

So the debate starts, put on a shirt answer the door. Answer the door in a sports bra and if it's someone who's say of a spiritual drive, they'll probably leave quickly. However my nieces like to pull random drop bys on their bikes. Plus my brother may meander up as I said. Or ignore the door.

I grabbed a shirt put it on. And found a guy standing there in a pink shirt, and I'm like, "What?" He asks me if I was in the middle of something, which I can understand why because I tend to be very red for awhile after doing sports of any kind, so I was slightly flushed. I told him I was about to step in the shower and again what did he want.

He then asks me if I knew my neighbors next door, I said sure, they are the renters. I didn't mention that I refer to them as the dude, girl 1 and girl 2. As that is all I know besides that they are renting from the owner and that they really need to learn not to put their garbage cans by my car. Plus I don't like answer questions to complete strangers... but then his next question threw me, he asked me if I liked massages, facials, etc.

I was a little surprised and a lot annoyed now,  so answered "No, I'm not interested." He said, "you don't like massages or facials??"

I said "No again, have a great day," then shut the door. Still not sure how that related to the neighbors, but as I said, don't really know dude, girl 1 and girl 2, so whatever right?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Pink Theory

So I came up with the Pink Theory after a lunch with two of my co-workers. We had decided to go to the "old folks" home (aka the Mall) for lunch. However I needed to get gold sleeper earrings, so we also had to stop at a jewelery store.

I'm fairly certain I heard a squeal of delight from my co-workers desk to my own, even though we are on different floors in the building. The reasoning was, is that my boyfriend and I have recently started discussing rings. And they couldn't wait to get me into that store.

As I am trying to pay for my earrings with a store clerk who is either in need of an enema or good sex, not sure which, the girls were gushing over the rings, deciding what is "my type" that I should wear. Well I already knew what I kind of liked, very simple, square cut (which to my annoyance is referred to as Princess cut).Which was not at all like what the girls picked out, I tried on ring after ring coated in diamonds of one sort or another...

But the time I got to the girls they had rings lined up for me to try. I had to put each ring on, and bend my hand in such a way that would let them know somehow if the ring would suit my personality and look good. The girls had opinions on everything, were giddy, even though Ice Queen was still serving us (who btw had it in her head to make me try on a 1 carat diamond over and over).

Then the girls remembered that my boyfriend was coming into town soon, so they decided that they were going to take him ring shopping. I decided to put my foot down there, as they would mostly scare the pants of him, as it was my head almost hurt from all the excitement from the two girls and I was a lot less enthusiastic about any ring shopping. I didn't want him to go through the same.

On the way back to work in the car, the girls talked non-stop about the rings, how he might propose, and when. One of the girls also had already picked out her ring she wants (only $10k) and Ice Queen had informed her there were only 19 left in Canada. I'm not sure if she did that to scare the poor girl (which has worked) or to dissuade her from trying to get that ring.

Either way Ice Queen didn't win any points with any of us. But it was during that drive that I decided girls who get that hyper about stuff like rings, shoes and purses have got to be Pink! No other colour for them.

Monday, July 25, 2011

What colour are you?

So I developed a theory on girls, and what colour they are based on their personalities. I've decided to go with three colour system: Pink, purple and blue.

Pink: This is what you'd expect, the girls who love to shop, especially for shoes and purses. Can talk about shopping for those items for hours. Also scared of bugs. Very excitable bunch. Screechy at times.

Purple: Less excitable, still may have a couple Pink habits, like shoe or purse shopping, not usually both. But also does stuff like camping, hanging out, etc. Little more relaxed when it comes to fashion.

Blue: Relaxed group, hates shopping and discussing shopping. Rather spend the day outside by a lake or in a pool or at a movie then even looking shoes. Clothing of choice would be jeans. No screeching at all.

I thought I'd share this theory with you, as my theory has given me a couple funny stories since it's developed. To be shared another time.

The who what, in the what now?

So one of was telling me about her co-workers week. It started off great, she had gotten a new Lexus and was really excited. She brought it into work to show off.

However it wasn't until she got off the bus at the Park n' Ride that she remembered that she DROVE to work, didn't take the bus. Now she was across town, no car, and no way to pick up her daughter from Daycare. She called my friend panic, uncertain of what she should do.

My friend, after she stopped laughing was able to calm her down enough to get her to call another co-worker who lived near by and who could help get her daughter. 

Then a few days later she calls back my friend, and said, "You'll never GUESS what I did today!!!" Of course the first guess was forgot about her car again. But that was way off.

She was on her period and had to change her tampon, and when she got home was feeling... well lets just say way uncomfortable. So she went to the washroom and discovered the reason why. She forgot the cardboard applicator inside.

Needless to say she was very glad when the weekend came to close out the crappy week.

Sunday, July 24, 2011


I was seated at a bus stop on my way to work on day and a lady dropped on the bench beside me. I had my nose in a book, doing my best to look occupied as strangers have a habit of talking to me.

Alas today was to be no different. She eased me in slowly, by saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I should have trusted my instincts and pretended to be deaf or something, as an adult female carrying a "Hello Kitty" purse and dressed mostly in pink is most likely going to be missing screw or two upstairs.

I mumbled something intelligible in reply, most likely a "fine, thanks." Carefully not asking a question back as I do not want the conversation to continue, and went back to my book.

She went on to make comments about the weather, as it was a hot, sunny day, about how this bus stop in particular takes quite awhile, etc. My answers consisted of very short "yep" and returning quickly to my book.

And then it happened. She began talking about how she has been in and out of the hospital a lot recently, that she's had to have lot of evasive vaginal procedures done. Describing them in detail, at this point, my book was progressively getting closer to my face as she talked in hopes that she would clue in and stop talking. Or that my book would swallow me whole. 

During the most descriptive part, the bus ambling towards us. At this point debated whether or not I should skip it and wait the extra 20 min, which would also cause me to be late for work.

Figuring that being late most likely wasn't an option I dejectedly got on the bus behind Hello Kitty. I purposely walked past her and sat near the back of the bus. She followed and sat beside me (well across the isle as I left my bag on the seat directly beside me to avoid company). 

She then told me how her boss was getting fed up with her missing so much work, and how they wouldn't promote her past the kitchen in the fast food place she was working. She wasn't sure if she should stay there, but since she needed to have a few more procedures done, she wasn't sure she could get another job.

During this whole conversation, she repeatedly apologized for interrupting my reading. And my "I'm going to get back to my book now" did not stop the chatting. I noticed a few people snickering near by as they could over hear the conversation, and I'm sure were highly amused at my pain.

Hello Kitty luckily got off 1 stop away from where I was linking to another bus, as she was on her way to work. When I finally arrived at work, I made sure to let everyone know not to eat at Hello Kitty's work. When asked why, I replied "You really rather not know, trust me."

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Strangers or are they? Take 2

One of the jobs I was working at included weekend hours, the sister company ajoined to us also had a few people working. I started chatting with one of the guys at the end of the day as we were getting ready to leave and he mentioned that he was frustrated with his name as no one could spell it.

I can greatly sympathize with him on this point and said so, then for the first time in my life, I said that I wish I had my Mom's last name because everyone can say and spell it, "Smith". So then he was like I know a few of those and asked where she was from. They were from the same province, however not from the same city.

Then he asked about my Grandparents, for the life of me I can never remember which city they are from, but when he my Grandfather's name, he was like "OMG, you don't mean Cpt. John Smith?!"

Which prompted me to say, "Well yeah, but we don't call him that, he's just Grandad." - Apparently he's a legend on his side of the family.

Turns out his Grandmother and my Grandfather are brother and sister. And I've been to his house a kid. We found each other across the country from where we were both from.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The debate...

So there was a ongoing debate one morning on the radio about whether or not guys should wear speedos at the beach. Calls were in support both ways over the matter. I, at the time was meh on the subject (might have been that it was early morning and forming a opinion while driving is too much effort). 

However, driving by one of my neighbor's the other morning definitely has given me an opinion that speedo purchases need to be monitored and regulated.

Can't say a 40 + slightly over weight, hairy dude looks attractive in a speedo. Guys should just realize, that only swimmers in the Olympics should be licensed to wear such a thing.

Girls like things to be left to the imagination... really, we do. Rather than have nightmare-ish images branded on our brains.

Work Out Music

I decided to have some fun when creating my work-out playlist, here are some songs I thought would make the gym that much more fun:

Under Pressure
Another One Bites the Dust
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I Hate Everything About You
I'm On My Way
Just a Gigolo
Stayin' Alive
Barbie Girl

Hours of Operation are?

So my gym advertises on the outside that it is 24 hours in large type, but actually has the following hours of operation:

Monday 6 am to Friday 11 pm (24 hours)
Saturday 8 am to 8 pm
Sunday 9 am to 6 pm

Now is it just me, but isn't Monday 6 am to Friday 11 pm a lot longer than 24 hours?

We also have a restaurant nearby to the gym that advertises it's open 25 hours.

Does this restaurant have it's own time-space continuum that it has an extra hour a day that no one else has? That would really suck to be an employee!! 

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fastest way between two points is a straight line??

Spotted today on the way back from lunch: A lady who decided that she needed to get to a store across the meridian, so she went head on into oncoming traffic to cut a couple seconds off her life... oops sorry I meant her drive. (Think we lost a few seconds from the fright ourselves).

I am expecting her to either make one of the Worst Driver's Series or get entered as a Darwin Award.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Strangers or are they?

Will waiting in an airport terminal I had a guy, I'll call him Bob, obviously airport personnel sit down beside me. The guy immediately across from us, Joe, also staff, recognized Bob right away. He said "Hi Bob" and proceeded to ask how he was doing, how the family was, all the typical conversation questions from people you see on occasion.

However I noticed that Bob beside me answered the questions, however his questions back seemed somewhat generic in kind, mostly work related, where they were flying etc. I began to have a sneaking suspicion that Bob could not remember who Joe was, which was amusing as Joe didn't seem to clue in. Even after Bob asked when the last time they saw each other was...

My suspicion was confirmed Joe went to the washroom and asked Bob to watch his bag, Bob snuck over to the bag and checked the name tag. I could not hold my laughter in, and Bob noticed me laughing, I assured him I'd keep his secret about not remember Joe for him. I somehow was able to maintain my mirth when Joe returned, not without some difficulty.

Trust, it's a fine line.

One of my sisters went was in a public washroom when a girl dashed into a stall, then yelled over, "Take my purse for me while I'm in here," and threw her purse over the stall door. My sister and another girl caught the purse. The other girl immediately began digging through the purse and opened the wallet. My sister made her put everything back and made sure the girl in the washroom got her purse back.

Not sure which is worse, the girl so trusting she gave her purse to random strangers, or the girl who had no moral conflict about going through a stranger's purse?

Sunday, July 3, 2011


A Miata with a "Meh" plate. Not very inspiring advertising for that car.

Not in an emergency.

One of the places I worked in required that everyone get Fire Extinguisher training. During the training the Fire Marshal described the different types of Extinguishers and how to use them. Before we got to actually each put out a fire, he asked one of my co-workers this, "You have a Chemical Fire Extinguisher in your hand and the guy next to you is on fire, what do you do?"
Her response was she wasn't sure. So the Fire Marshal responded, "Let me rephrase, you're on fire, he has the extinguisher, what do you want him to do?!"
She immediately said, "Put me out!"- The rest of us made note that she wasn't the person to have around during an emergency!

Which way??

I had arrived early to write an exam for a new job, so I was waiting outside the exam room in the seating area. I spent my time people watching those who were walking outside and trying to read a book. Suddenly the fire alarm system goes off.

However having been in a number of buildings in which there are many false alarms I questioned someone walking by if this was a building where people actually leave during a fire alarm, or one that you wait until you're told to evacuate. He told me they would announce if we were to leave. 

Less than 5 min later the power then goes out and they announced at this point to evacuate the building. As I am gathering up my things to leave, the room I was waiting to write my exam in empties. There is a lady leading people out, she then looks at the door leading directly to the outside and asks "Is this the closest Emergency Exit?"

My immediate reply was, "Well, I don't think you'll get any closer than this!!" as I pushed opened the door and left.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Happy Canada Day to Everyone!

Smarty pants...

So I was going for a walk the other night and came across a skateboarder boarding in the middle of the road, wearing a completely black outfit. Maybe he was hoping the green tires on his skateboard would make him visible enough to vehicles.