Monday, November 14, 2011

Me vs the Dentist

Sadly I had to go to the dentist today, as last week something was feeling slightly off.

I discovered quickly that I still hate dentists and I'm fairly certain now they are spawns of Satan.

The day started off badly, my head was aching, my boyfriend was leaving and I didn't sleep well. Really that was enough to make my Monday crappy as it was. Add a morning Dental appointment and it's a mini version of hell for me.

To make it a little less painful, I packed my Kobo with me, so at least I had a book I could retreat too. But as I got in my car, I had an odd experience (not related to the blog, but part of the day). This older man (definition of older meaning grey hair) a couple cars over crossing in the lot, looks at me and mouths, "Hello there" to me and kept walking. I had never met him before. I spent part of the drive trying remember that odd encounter for the blog. - Because really what stranger says that in a parking lot? I am young enough to be his daughter, blech.

Once I got to the dentists, I then had to fill out a questionnaire so detailed that I'm sure my Ex after 7 years couldn't answer all of those about me. I finally handed in the paper, gave a rave review on the Kobo and it's capabilities, before I got a moment to dash off in to the world of Kinsey Millhone briefly before be called back into The Chair.

To start off, there was no obvious place to hang my coat, so I left it on and I was not asked to remove it. Which made it a little awkward for me as it's somewhat bulky being that it's been rather cool out recently. However the hygienist just went about draping me for photo shoot over the bulk. I meanwhile was thankful for Secret's extra protection as I was putting it through a true test being trapped in that coat!

After my first photo shoot, I was brought to a stand up booth, strapped into a lead frock, told to remove my sleeper hoop earrings (those still are not back in) and my glasses. So in the cramped confines I got my earrings out, then zipped them into a sleeve pocket on my coat so I wouldn't lose them (not able to put them back in without a mirror), then settle my Kobo and wallet on the ground, as there was no place else to put it (was not offered a spot somewhere for my belongings).

Once I was done with the photos, the Dentist finally showed. He asked if there was any particularly troubling spots, I mentioned what was going on, he then takes his little mirror and the pokey then and starts poking in my mouth, and asks, "How are you doing today?" I was thinking, "Really? We are going to play this game? Seriously?" I think he realized I was slightly annoyed (I do give a really good "you're a moron look") as he removed his hands long enough for me to respond, "Just dandy, love being here." - Yes, for those that don't know, that was sarcasm.

He then went through all other spots in my mouth first, listing off random numbers and letters. I was waiting for someone to yell, "I Sank Your Battleship!" when finally goes to the tooth that is bothering me and whacks on it a few times with a metal pole of some kind, then asked if it hurts. -  What do you think ?? Moron.

Finally he tells me we are going to go through my Xrays together. He proceeds then to look at the Xrays, and point at them with his lasers while not saying anything, I almost yelled out "Bicuspid" at one point just to break the silence. 

He then hands me a mirror and tells me he wants to show me something. Flips me back and has me open up wide. Well I can see jack sh-t with the mirror, and my "you're a moron" look returned. For some reason he seemed somewhat crestfallen that I was unable to see him tapping once again on the bothersome tooth.

Then he gets all excited to run off to get the Oral Cancer Screening light. Tells me not too worry, but he wants to check out a couple spots... uh. Ok? If my palms were not already sweaty from the jacket, it would have been spontaneous clammy hands. So I get this light the size of large pill bottle type stuck in my mouth, he looks all over then goes back to my right side 3 times... palms are now almost dripping on the floor, the silence is deafening. He then says ok, I'll be right back and disappears. I almost fell out the chair to see where he was going (luckily the bulk of the coat hooked the arm and kept me in).

On his return he was like, ok here's the situation with your tooth, you've fractured the root, and even though I do root canals, I'm not confident I can deal with this. So you will have to see a specialist. Two things popped in to my head at that, first was OMG $$$$$$ and how does a dentist get more specialized??

He then hands me back the mirror so he can tap one more time at the tooth and pick at the gum to tell me the issues. If it wasn't 7 years bad luck to break a mirror, I might have used it on his head. Because if he can't fix it, then don't touch it!!!

He then hustles me back out to the front desk, tells the lady with the sometimes British Accent (think Ross off Friends) to set me up with a consult. Meanwhile, I'm like, "Hey! Wait!! What about the cancer???! Was it negative or positive??" He was like, oh, Negative of course. - Of Course? Sorry dude, silence was not acceptable assurance about that being Negative.

So after this glowing exam, I left with a pounding left side of the face, including ear, nose and eye and an 11 day wait to see a specialist who needs me to pay for all his Xmas shopping I'm sure. *sigh* I hate dentists.

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